With whom do you choose to dance?
In my life, I seem to alternate between two partners, Trust and Doubt. Trust is the better dancer, for sure. Still, I continue to allow Doubt to cut in more times than I’d like to admit.
When I dance with Trust, we Flow, effortlessly…no attachments to our final destination, no analysis of the potential outcome of our combined steps…just, The Dance. I allow Trust to lead and She carries me Home, whatever the Song.
Today, I broke up with Doubt. Yep, he’s history. Sure, he may still call me now and then…and, I will probably succumb to the temptations of our safety and security, our comfort zone, our dead “life.” But, I made the break, not the half-assed break-up of keeping my options open, but the full-fledged choice to move on.
And so now, a Space has been created for my new partner, Life. Together, we shall Rise in Love.
This isn’t the first time I’ve had the opportunity to “walk my words.” Still, it feels like a biggie. It’s true, though…you just know when you know when you know…
Yes, with anything, it seems, there’s a sense of a life cycle coming to an end…and a bit of wondering when to do it or how it will happen or what the right time will be or whatever…and then, suddenly, in an instant, either “by choice” or not-it’s just time.
How it really happens, I think, is that the Choice is already made and we eventually step into it…basically, when we are sick and tired of suffering.
For two years now, I have been cleaning houses to pay the bills. This came about after I made the decision to leave a dead-end albeit fairly secure job with a University. I knew it was time to leave my old job when I felt like I would rather have all of my teeth pulled than go to work. Recently, it has become the same for me with cleaning.
Some people will advise us not to take the leap until something else is in place. While this may at times be true (we each have to follow our own guidance), it has not been true in either case for me. And, you know, I’m lookin’ IN at God sayin’, “Are you sure?…How will I pay the bills?…How can I know this is ‘right’?” And God says to me, “Dance with Trust.”
I’ve known for some time that I am Done (with a captital D) cleaning. While I am grateful to all of my clients and to the Universe for giving us to each other (they basically fell from the sky into my lap at the exact right and perfect time for me and for them), I just know it’s time for me to move on. I have enjoyed being a humble servant, and I will continue to be a humble servant, no matter what the form of the outer expression.
A couple of months ago, I had a dream and it was this…I picked up my car keys and walked toward my car to go “somewhere.” I got in the car and went to put the keys in the ignition and, lo and behold, I could not do so, as my purple cleaning gloves were shoved in the ignition, preventing me from going “anywhere.” While this dream was simple enough, it was profound in It’s guidance, as I had known for some time that it was time for me to stop cleaning. Too, I had been praying for guidance. I receive a lot of my guidance in very symbolic and fairly obvious dreams and I Am so grateful for that.
I want to acknowlege that, while this is certainly a leap of faith (and it is), I am supported by Angels, both Heavenly and Earthly. And sometimes, our Earthly Angels can only show up when we’ve made the choice to Trust our Heavenly Ones. I Am Blessed with Friends, Family, my Dear Friend and the father of our two Beautiful Children, an unusual circumstance and countless other people and things, who are supporting me in so many ways as I transtion into Living an Outer Life that is a truer reflection of Who I Am.
I whole-heartedly believe this opportunity is present for All of Us, All of the Time.
One darling friend, just today, handed me an envelope with some money in it (I had asked her if she had any to spare for a bit). When she handed me the envelope, I looked at her and said, “Thank You for your investment.” And I meant it from the most Humble and Pure place in my heart.
When we invest in each other’s Truth, financially and otherwise, we invest in ourselves and in the world.
What do you choose to invest in? The energy of fear or the energy of Love? That is a wonderful question to ask ourselves as we begin each day.
Life, you stole my heart today. Or, is it that I finally gave it to you, Freely?
Last night, I prayed for dream guidance again. I awoke with no remembrance of guidance. I went about my day and, soon after awakening, received a text from a dear friend. It was a quote from Anita Moorjani:
“When I am willing to step into the realm of uncertainly and ambiguity, I open myself up to infinite possiblities.”
I thought, “There it is-my ‘answer’.”
Right then, I texted my clients to inform them that I would no longer be cleaning houses. Just before I sent the text, I embodied the feeling of sending the text and I knew it was “right.”
I am not suggesting throwing caution to the wind or tossing practicality out the window. Still, I will say that sometimes there is no Rhyme or Reason to This. That has certainly proven to be true numerous times in my own Life.
I tend to go with what “makes sense” on the inside whether or not it “makes sense” on the outside…and I have never been let down or disappointed by this. Each time, I come to Trust more and more. Sounds like about the surest definition of God I know.
Recently, I re-posted a quote on Facebook. It is a quote from Neale Donald Walsch:
“Look to see who is truly serving the world, truly seeking to share wisdom and knowledge, insight and compassion. Provide for these people, for these are the Bringers of Light.”
I humbly share with a Deep Knowing that I am one of these people. We all are in our own way, if we so choose to Be.
There is nothing else I care to Be or Do.
So, there you have It, Life. Does “I Do” come to mind?
No more resistance, no more cold feet, no more what-if’s…
Take me, I’m Yours. And I Trust that, as I Am True to my Self, as I allow the Energy of Life to express Itself through me in the way It most wishes to do so, as I take the leap, I won’t have to worry about whether or not the net is there because,
I SHALL FLY!!!
And I shall be carried on Wings of Love!
And one loaf becomes many…and the fish, they are multiplied…
Today, I have found:
The Ultimate Lover
I enter the darkness
Not sure what to make of it all
Something is happening
I sense You, I feel You
A welcome reprieve
To a long, hard day
I wander through our Home
The one we’ve created together
And I wonder
Where on earth could He be?
Then, I spot It
To What I’m certain is
I ascend the stairs
The ones leading to You,
The ones lined with rose petals
And dancing flames
The anticipation is almost
Too much to bear
I don’t hurry my ascent
Although I am tempted to do so
I savor each and every moment
Each step, every breath
The scent of passion
The pounding of my heartbeat
The lightness of my heart
Rush (okay, I’ll admit it) slowly
My cheeks are blushed, I’m certain
as I know what’s to come
I imagine you
With your own bit of
We will be complete
We will come Home
To ourselves and to each other
I’m almost there
And Ecstasy will explode from within our depths
Even as Joy cascades over us
You paved the way for Me
But I egged you on for sure
Or shall I call you by your pet name,
You are my Ultimate Lover.